The Secret Side of Me
by ShadowedSoulSpirit
Summary: The life of Nate Rivers, from the time he was born, the battle for L, the death of his once best friend, and finally when Kira's reign ends. You will see the secret side of Near, the one covered by a mask of insecurity. The one that a certain blond headed boy opened up and ripped apart. Enjoy Contains some gore and language
1. M and N

On August 24, 1991, a baby boy was born into the world.

On August 26, 1991, two loving parents were murdered by a Mafia gang. The same day, a drunken member stumbled across the baby, laying and crying in a pool of his parents' blood. With a smile, one of the men grabbed the baby roughly, and left the crime scene.

From that fate full day on August 26, all the way until September 7, 1997 the boy was abused in a numerous amounts of ways. The day of September 8th was the day everything changed, and the boy's world began to shift.

They were tired of him. They were finished. He was a fun little toy to begin with, but at the age of six, he was turning into a handful. So, to deal with the problem, the members of a Mafia gang strapped the white haired boy to a table, and stood over him with sharpened knives aimed straight for his obsidian eyes. They plan to spill this nobody's blood all over the table; to drawl out his agonizing impending death. The moment a knife enters the boy's flesh, the door to their hideout opened. Only by the power of a single man and a loaded machine gun, every one of the Mafia died in a hail of gun fire. The boy looks up at the man with a single eye, since the other had a knife buried right above the obsidian orb. It was surprisingly an older gentleman, with a soft smile and gentle touches.

"I am here to save you." He whispers like it was a secret, "My name is Watari, and I will take you to my orphanage where you shall be safe." He sits down the gun carefully, and lifts the boy from the table.

He was smaller than a six year old was supposed to be, with pale skin that was never exposed to the sun.

"I shall name you Near. Your real name and heritage is none of my concern unless you wish to speak of it. At the orphanage, you get to start all over." He brushes the blood away that was starting to pool around Near's eye, and took him away from the evils where his entire life was spent.

-September 12, 1996-

Watari took me to the hospital. They patched my eye up, literally, and scared me to death with their needles. Right now, Watari is driving me to the orphanage he spoke dearly about. I am afraid. What if Mafia showed up there? It only took a few minutes for Watari to open my door.

"We have arrived Near." He says, taking my hand and lead me away from the safety of the car.

I look in amazement through my single eye as the grand iron gates stood at attention in front of us, guarding the old yet friendly looking orphanage. Watari opens the gate and walks through it, pulling me along. I was still in awe about how the old brick structure could still stand. Kids of all ages who were previously playing stop to stare at me. I look at the ground, hoping they would stop.

"Who are you?" Watari stops walking as a boy stood in my path.

I look, my gaze following the dark clothing and tanned skin, up to the high cheek bones and lively blue eyes, topped with a mess of long golden locks. I mess with the end of my pajamas long sleeved shirt that was way too big for me.

I mumble the first word I've said in a long time, "Near."

"Come play with me Near! You look awesome with those bandages over your eye! Did you get in a fight or something! I wanna see what the other guy looks like! Oh by the way I'm Mello!" He chirps.

I glance up to see Watari smiling, "What a grand idea. Mello you could take care of Near right? You're almost nine so I expect you can handle yourself."

"Of course! I'll make sure he'll get on Roger's good side and everything!" He grabs my hand as Watari lets go of it, "You can be my roommate! Does that sound like fun?"

"Y-yes..." I manage at a whisper.

"Let's go! See ya Watari! Tell L I said hi!" Mello shouts happily, dragging me into the huge orphanage, through the maze of hallways and into a room marked with a large black 'M'.

There were two beds on opposite sides of the room, with a double window in the middle. At the ends of the beds were chests and right across from them were huge dressers. The right side of the room was a complete mess, with food stained bed sheets, clothes thrown in all direction, and the dresser drawers hanging wide open; the left side looked like it was never touched in a life time. Underneath the windows covered with blue curtains, contrasting against the grey walls was a small TV. It fit snuggly with the brown carpet, its buttons hidden by the long strands. Mello pulls me towards the left side.

"You'll sleep here!" He runs over to his side, grabbing a sharpie and jumps onto my new bed.

He writes in huge letters along the white headboard, 'NEAR', "Now you own it!" He says, throwing the marker back on his side, "Roger will be by later to give you clothes. Roger doesn't like kids but he's the head of the orphanage! Go figure! Get on his good side and you won't have a problem!"

He walks over to me, a huge smile plastered on his face. He takes both of my small hands in his.

"We're going to be the best of friends, Near. I'm sure of it."

"F-friends?" I ask quietly.

That term was never used among the Mafia.

"Yep! We're going to play together and eat together and do everything together! We're going to be inseparable, just like brothers! We will never leave each other sides got it! Starting right now we are M and N, since there right next to each other in the alphabet."

"J-just l-like b-brothers?"

"Most defiantly! I promise you I will never go back on that promise. You won't go back either right? Promise me right now you won't!"

"I-I won't..."

-September 13, 1996, Midnight-

The Mafia member plunges his knife above the boy's eye. Yet this time, a man did not enter with a machine gun. They laugh manically as he whimpers, gorging his dark eye out until his socket was even darker than the orb itself. They let the blood coat their hands like a second skin as they begin removing his other eye out until he was completely blind. His shirt rips easily in there greedy hands. Blades enter the pale flesh, trails of blood blossoming all around the table. The boy struggles, all in vain however. The knives dip into his limps, missing everything vital. One man took it upon himself to press the knife he wielded deeply into his ear, turning his snow white hair red. The others, catching on, did the same to the other so the boy could neither see nor hear. All he could feel was the pain of the blades. Still, the man did not come to save him. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the men were tired of only drawling out whimpers from the boy. Seconds later, the boy could fill something cold being drizzled all over his body, coating his wound with its stickiness. A match flares up and was then dropped on said boy. The Mafia walks out laughing as the terrified boys screams fill the air with its unnatural sound.

I woke up screaming. I couldn't stop myself from screaming. I could feel the cold sweat covering my body like the gasoline did. My scream only got louder. Mello emerges from his cocoon of chaos and hurries over to my bed, slipping under the covers with me. He pulls me close, touching my face softly.

"Near its okay, it was just a nightmare." He soothes, smoothing my hair down.

The scream dies at my throat, choking sobs replacing it. I am scared. What if Watari never came to save me? Is that how I would've end up like? Being burned alive?

"You're safe now. Nothing's going to hurt you, I promise. I'll protect you from evil. I will be your protector forever," He wipes my salty tears away, "Don't cry…"

When he whispers those words, something pricks my heart. I don't know what, but I manage to stop myself from crying anymore. He smiles at me sweetly, ruffling my hair that he had just fixed.

"That better…" He mummers, tucking my head under his chin.

I could hear his soft snores second later and soon spiraled into unconsciousness with him.

-Next Morning-

I can still feel my now best friend's protective arms around me. I jump in surprise when someone started banging on the door. Fear sweeps over me instantaneously, and I let it be released in a scream. The Mafia had found me! Mello wakes up, sitting up so quickly I nearly fell off the bed.

"Near are you okay! What's wrong?"

"Mello open the door this instant! Why did you lock it?" I cover my ears at the harshness in the old man's voice.

Mello huffs, getting off the bed and unlocked the door I didn't even know he locked. An old man towered over the eight-year-old, looking pristine and crisp.

"Near this is Roger! Roger this is my roommate Near-"

"I did not allow this Mello," Roger snaps, "I did not give you permission to house the new child did I? The answer is no. Now get to breakfast like the rest of the kids."

Mello gave him an awful glare before marching on to the dining hall, leaving me all alone.

"Now, Near was it? What's your real name?" He asks hastily, pulling a piece of paper and pen from his pocket.

"Near." I answer simply.

"Your real name."

"Near."

"Oh come now child do not be stupid! What is your true name?"

"Near."

He let out an exaggerated sigh, "Well then when were you born."

"Don't know."

"How old are you?"

"Don't know."

"What were your parents' names?"

"Never met them." I didn't know if it was my lack of answers or my pure innocence that was making him even angrier.

"Do you know anything about yourself!"

"I have white hair and black eyes, I haven't eaten in forever so I probably don't weigh much, I think toys look cool since I've never played with one before and my blood type is B."

"How in the world could you know your blood type and not your real name?"

"I dunno."

I think that was the last straw for Roger. He looked very, very angry with me, like he was going to rip me apart and burn my body and dance on my ashes sort of mad. He placed the paper and pen back in his pocket, not writing a single thing down.

"Well Near, you better know this. You will not be roommates with Mello until we know exactly who you are. For the time being, stay in here." He closed the door quickly before I could say otherwise.

I sit, frozen, before the tears once again start rolling down my face as I hear Roger's footsteps retreating.

Hope you enjoy Death Note fan. The adventure is just beginning~

-Soul Spirit-


	2. Ill Keep You Safe

I'll Keep You Safe

I stay in the room like Roger directed me too. I curl up in a little ball and sob on what I thought was my bed, awaiting the sound of his footsteps. Sure enough, I hear them echoing down the hall, following a familiar walk. Watari. It had to be. I couldn't mistake my savior's footsteps. If I listen closely and stop crying long enough, I can make out what there speaking of.

"I told the poor boy he could start over. Starting over doesn't mean keeping him in a room and asking him questions he can hardly remember. He's six not eight." Watari reasons.

"He could have family. Our first priority is to send a child to living family members, if not they stay here." Roger counters.

"His family is probably gone. Why else would Near be with the Mafia? They obviously kidnapped him, and knowing there movements, killed the parents."

"Near was with the Mafia! That's so cool!"

"Mello!" Roger sighs, obvious displeasure in his voice.

"Mello, we are talking. Could you please let it be a little private?" Watari asks kindly.

"Sure! I was just going to hang out with Near!"

"You can't do that." Roger stops him.

"Why nottttttt?" Mello whines.

I can't help myself. I want my best friend at my side. I get up and make my way to the door, opening it just a crack. Roger and Watari's backs were to me, but I could see Mello in between their bodies. He tilts his head to the left, glancing at me. He was signaling for me to go that way. I open the door just a bit further and sneak out. Neither of the older men realizes. Once I walk around the corner I break into a run, trying my best to distance myself from Roger. I crash through the doors and tumble onto the soft grass.

My shoulder throbs painfully now since it was the sole object I rammed the door with. I rub it gently and get back up, looking around. The orphanage grounds were well manicured, with dozens of huge oak trees and forts to play on. I go to the nearest tree and sit down on its roots, still rubbing my arm. When I start to think about pain, my eye starts hurting too. In a few minutes of escaping, fresh tears of pain begin rolling down my face, dripping onto my shirt. The Mafia had taught me that if I cry after a beating, I get beat more. But now, far away from them, every forced fed lesson I learned has shattered.

I think Mello burrowed his way past the emotions and pulled out new ones. I can't figure out whether that's good or bad. I hope it's good.

I look up when the door I ran through opens, a single thought crossing my mind. Roger and Watari knew I wasn't in Mello's room and were looking for me. I was quickly reassured when the person was short and blond, not tall and grey.

"Near!" He calls out.

I crawl out of my hiding place so he could spot me with ease.

"Near!" He runs over to me, hugging me fiercely.

He let go when I whimpered and saw the tears.

"Near what's wrong?" He asks gingerly, brushing away my tears.

"M-my shoulder..." I murmur quietly to him, like it was a secret; the same tone Watari used on me when he saved me.

"Which one?"

"Right..."

He nods and undoes the top three buttons on my pajama top. He uncovers my right shoulder and stared at the ugly bruise that covered my shoulder bone, almost like a tattoo.

"What did-" He looks to my face and instantly freezes.

I could feel something sticky running down my cheek, but I classified it as my tears.

"Near we need to take you to Watari!" He says urgently.

"B-but w-why!" Did Mello want me to go away?

"You're bleeding!" He buttons up my shirt quickly, grabbing my hand in a firm grip, "It's your eye! Watari would know what to do! I promised I'd protect you remember!" He leads me as fast as I could manage into the orphanage.

"Watari! Watari! Watari!" He shouts at the top of his lungs until my savior appears at the end of the hallway, with Roger at his heels.

"There you are-" Roger starts before Mello rudely interrupts him.

"Watari, Near's hurt! His eye is bleeding and he has a huge bruise of his shoulder!"

"I need to drive you to the hospital. You must have popped a stitch." Watari tells me.

He then looks to Roger, "Take care of Mello while-"

Mello yet again cut into the conversation, "I'm going with Near."

Watari did not fight him. Instead he simply nodded his head and took us to his car, letting us both sit in the back seat together. Mello refuses to let go of my hand, insisting on protecting me from the doctors and the nurses that I now fear.

"You'll be alright Near," He whispers to me, brushing my hair from my eyes, "They'll make you feel better, and if they try any funny business they'll have to answer to me!"

I smile at him, and he smiles back. Even if I only knew him for two days, he is my one and only true friend. I don't want any other friend because he's the best one I could ever have. Unlike the Mafia, he's not willing to leave my side. He wants to make sure I'm okay. True, when push comes to shove, he has to obey Roger, but he won't be gone for too long.

Mello knows just how to make me smile, like we've been life time friends. Driving to the hospital would have been frightening for me on any occasion except the fact that Mello is coming with me.

I could feel the stickiness rolling down my face begin to get heavier. A sickening thought crashes into my mind. The gasoline. I whimper and pull my legs close to my chest in an attempt to make the nightmare crawl back into the dark hole it came from. Mello leans closer and wraps his arms around me.

"It's okay Near. It's okay. Whatever you're thinking, it's okay. 'Cause I'm here and I'll make sure to keep you safe."

-Soul Spirit-


End file.
